inkbl¤ts & candyc¤atedm¤¤ndr¤ps

Everything In Its Time: Songs & Stories of Hope from Hangad

2009-09-22T09:30:00.003+08:00

Everything In Its Time: Songs & Stories of Hope from Hangad

October 3 & 4, 7PM
Tanghalang Onofre Pagsanghan - Dulaang Sibol
Ateneo de Manila High School
Katipunan Avenue
Loyola Heights, Quezon City

Tickets Php 100 each
For reservations, please email mail@hangad.com

www.hangad.com

bugita.sulit.com.ph

2009-03-16T14:13:00.001+08:00

Which Heroes character are you?

2008-12-09T21:32:00.001+08:00

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Which Heroes character are you?

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Your Result is: You are Claire Bennet

You can spontaneously regenerate, which is just a fancy way of saying that you heal yourself involuntarily. You don't really like it and your power makes you feel like a freak. You recently tried to contact your real parents, because you want to see if they have powers.

Take Which Heroes character are you?

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Are you a good driver?

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What spongebob charcter are you!?

What job is fit for you?

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'100' in Cinemas December 3, 2008!

2008-11-04T08:51:00.003+08:00

Click here for more information about the film.

Hangad: Noon at Ngayon

2008-08-14T11:44:00.001+08:00

"Kung aawit ako nang mag-isa, awit ko'y awitin nga ba?"

Block off your calendars for Hangad: Noon at Ngayon, a 10th anniversary concert for Hangad's first album titled "Hangad". The show will feature inspirational and liturgical standards from Hangad's repertoire -- some in their original form, others with fresh new arrangements -- such as Panunumpa, Pananatili, and Pag-Ibig Ko.

Moreover, the show features the launch of a commemorative 5-track CD, also titled Hangad: Noon at Ngayon, featuring new arrangements of well-loved songs mostly from Hangad's first album, plus the first-time release of the upbeat "Walang Ibang Hangad."

Hangad : Noon at Ngayon will be held at 7 PM on August 30, 31 and September 7, 2008, at the St Stanislaus Chapel of the Ateneo High School, Ateneo de Manila University, Katipunan Ave., Loyola Heights, Quezon City.
Tickets are at Php150, which covers entrance to the show and a copy of the commemorative CD "Hangad: Noon at Ngayon." Additional "Hangad: Noon at Ngayon" CD's can be purchased at Php100 each.

"Habambuhay iisa ang Hangad: umawit sa "Yo!"

August 30, 31 and September 7, 2008 7:00pm St Stanislaus Chapel of the Ateneo High School Ateneo de Manila University, Katipunan Ave., Loyola Heights Quezon City, Philippines

Inachus

2007-12-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

Geek + Sensitive = ...

2007-11-12T08:31:00.000+08:00

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?
	You would fall part for the geek. If you're looking for love, consider spending a little more time studying up in the library. To you, there's nothing more attractive than intelligence, shyness, and kindness; your future love may have four eyes and zero social skills, but he'll make up for it in brains and heart.
	You would fall part for the sensitive guy. You'll find your future man wherever turtlenecks are sold. He will have depth, introspection, and a disturbing knowledge of musical theatre. And he may be a little weird. But hey, while your girlfriends cry over broken hearts, you'll be having Shakespeare read to you every night.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Afternoon Girl

2007-09-21T10:09:00.001+08:00

You Are an Afternoon Person

You can find energy any time of the day ... or night!
You prefer to be out and about when most other people are.
Very early mornings or very late nights aren't really your thing.
You're practically solar powered, and the afternoon is when do best.

Are You a Morning Person or Night Person?

White Choco Chinky

2007-09-21T10:07:00.000+08:00

You are White Chocolate

You are White Chocolate
You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent.
Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you.
You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Blag

2007-07-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Friendster Horoscope for July 26, 2007

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

The Bottom Line

You're a source of inspiration for someone. Bask in the glory of their admiration.

In Detail

You're the source of inspiration for someone today -- bask in the glory of their admiration, and don't shy away from the spotlight that they're shining on you! This is your time at center stage, and it won't last long. Soak it up for as long as you can, and believe in your heart that you deserve every single accolade you get. Your fans should become your friends, too -- be nice to the people who appreciate you, and they will inspire you to grow to be even better!

Sabi ko na nga ba artistahin talaga ako, eh. Hindi ko lang pala imagination! wahahaha

*sigh*

Tapos kahapon ang sabi sa horoscope ko, mas magiging involved daw ako sa sinalihan kong grupo. Takutin pa ako at tinanong pa kung kakayanin ko kaya dahil makakaapekto raw iyon sa work, family, and whatever aspect pa ng buhay ko.

In furnace, tumpak ang sinabi n'ya na may sinalihan nga akong grupo. I enrolled in the Photoworks photography workshop at The Garage yesterday. Kinabahan tuloy ako, lintik na horoscope yan. Tapos ngayon naman, may mga fans & admirers daw ako. How I wish. hahaha

After a long time, ngayon lang ulit ako nag-post ng nilalaman ng buhay ko. Well, dahil din kasi siguro kinakabahan ako para sa prayer session na inaayos ko para bukas. First time ito. *cold sweat* Pagod na ako from work at gusto ko nang magpahinga pero I still don't feel prepared. Halata naman siguro sa paraan ng pagsusulat ko ng entry na ito. (sabog!)

Sana matuloy ang lakwatsa ko bukas ng gabi. (Bea, save me from my insanity!)

Walang Ibang Hangad

2007-06-14T08:35:00.000+08:00

Watch Hangad's all a capella concert
walang ibang hangad
July 8 and 15
6:00 pm
EPCI Tower 1 Francisco Santiago Hall
P150 entrance fee

for inquiries, drop an email at mail@hangad.com

My Visual DNA

2007-05-18T09:41:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Broken Sonnet

2007-04-20T10:31:00.000+08:00

The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Witnessing

2007-03-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

Here's another excerpt from a movie. Shall We Dance is about a husband (Richard Gere) taking ballroom dancing lessons & keeping it a secret from his family. His wife (Susan Surrandon) suspects that he is cheating & hires a private investigator to find out what her husband is really up to. In one meeting the wife had with the P.I., she asks him if he knows the reason why she got married. He guesses, "Love? Companionship?" and some other answers. The quote below is the reason she gave.

We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying, "Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."

Letting Go

2007-02-26T12:21:00.001+08:00

Excerpt from THE HOLIDAY. The scene these lines were taken from was when Miles (Jack Black) just finished telling Iris (Kate Winslet) the vicious cycle he goes through with bad girlfriends. Iris tells Miles that she means it when she says she knows exactly how he feels. She empathizes with Miles in terms of unrequited love, as she is also trying to get over Jasper, who is now engaged but doesn't stop keeping in contact with her.

"I understand the feeling as small &
as insignificant &
as humanly possible,
and how it can actually ache in places
that you didn't even know you had inside you.
and it doesn't matter how many haircuts you get or
gyms you join or
how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends,
you still go to bed every night
going over every detail
and wonder what you did wrong or
how you could've misunderstood.
And how in the hell for that brief moment
you could think that you were that happy.
And sometimes you could even convince yourself
that he'll see the light and
show up at your door.
And after all that,
however long that may be,
you'll go somewhere new,
and you'll meet people that would make your life worthwhile again.
And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.
And all that fuzzy stuff,
those years of your life that you wasted --
that will eventually begin to fade."

Intensified!

2007-02-07T13:07:00.001+08:00

It's been eons since I last posted anything substantial here. It's not that there's nothing to share about what's been happening in my life lately. It's mostly a matter of laziness that's keeping me from updating this blog. haha!

After months of enslaving myself to our family business, I finally decided to cut my over-extended vacation & applied for a job. I got several call backs from companies I sent my CV to but I never went to interviews or to take exams. You could say that I was abusing my luxury of choice, but to me, I was doing just the opposite. No, it was not a matter of meeting the usual standards (e.g. salary, location of the work place, the company), but it was a matter of where I would be most happy. (Yes, my idealism still hasn't worn off.)

Then late November 2006, I got a call from the Ateneo Placement Office, asking if I were interested in being Fr. Dan McNamara's assistant in the MINISTRY OFFICE. (Note that Ateneo's ministry office is actually called CAMPUS Ministry Office.) Surprised that there was at least an opening at CMO, I grabbed the opportunity & said yes. The day after, however, I got a call back, not from CMO, but from MANILA OBSERVATORY. After realizing that I was given the wrong information, I was asked by the person at the other end of the line if I were still interested with the job since it wasn't in CMO. I took a moment before answering, & still, I ended up saying yes. Two days after, I came in to take some written evaluation & an initial interview. More that a week after, I got a call back from MO, informing me that I had passed the initial evaluation & asked to come back for a panel interview two days after. And I did.

Obviously, I passed with flying colors (yabang! haha!) that's why I'm now working there for almost two months now. My bosses are great, & within a short span of time, I already had an easy rapport with most, if not all of the staff members. I'm not sure how long I will be staying there, but it already feels like home. Ü

And now for a breather.

The following segment is an excerpt from a situation report from ADMU's Physical Plant Office dated February 6, 2007. When I read this, I laughed my ass off! Read on to find out why:

Last Monday night, 29 January, a taxi driver (former driver of a Loyola Schools student) & a yaya were caught in an embarrassing situation in an isolated spot at the Northwest carpark. On Wednesday night, 31 January, a Nissan Sentra without an Ateneo sticker was found parked in an isolated spot again of the Northwest Carpark. Campus security managed to take pictures of the couple inside the car. However, the driver managed to start the car & dashed out of the campus, almost running down two guards who were stopping him.

Checking of vehicles entering the campus has been intensified.

INTENSIFIED! Watta word! hahaha! (For me, the last sentence was the punchline of the entire segment. Ang babaw ko, ano?) Ü

The Movie Of Your Life Is Film Noir

So what if you're a little nihilistic at times?
Life with meaning is highly over-rated.

Your best movie matches: Sin City, L. A. Confidential, Blade Runner

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Ah yes... I'm complicated in this way. haha!

You Should Be a Musician

You have a rare combinations of talents: an ear for music, nimble fingers, and the willpower to practice.
You could master almost any instrument you choose to play (if you haven't already!)

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

WISH KO LANG! sigh...

Cuddly-doo!

2006-12-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

I Am THE Star!

2006-11-30T19:15:00.000+08:00

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Labinlimang Hangad

2006-10-20T18:23:00.000+08:00

WTF?!?

2006-08-29T18:58:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Chinky Siy!

Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are Chinky Siy!--> Fight Club ba ito? haha
A thimbleful of Chinky Siy would weigh over 100 million tons.--> t*ng ina 'to ah! oo na, malaki na ako! ipaggiitan pa raw...
The patron saint of Chinky Siy is Saint Eugenie!--> Assumptionista ako?!? Oh my gad! I don't like to make tuhog the fishballs!
Chinky Siy is the largest of Saturn's moons!--> lintik. kanina ka pa ah.
The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Chinky Siy state'.--> why not?!
If Chinky Siy was life size, she would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human.--> pucha, palalakihin na nga ako lalo, di pa proportioned!
New Zealand was the first place to allow Chinky Siy to vote.--> rock on!
Chinky Siy does not have toes.--> so, what the heck do I have -- hooves?
Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and Chinky Siy has 7.--> ako'y isang mababang nilalang... huhuhu
The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Chinky Siy and compline.--> canonical hour ako?? wtf?!

For Vanity's Sake

2006-08-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

I just had to see how this would turn out if I used my digitally-enhanced graduation photo...

I'm sorry... Zhang Ziyi again... 86%!!! I'm sorry.. star-studded na ito! Grabe, baka ma-starstruck ako sa sarili ko 'pag tumingin ako sa salamin mamaya! wahahahaha!

Sabi na artistahin talaga ako, eh!

2006-08-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

putek benta!! hahaha

ito ang mas benta hahahaha

I'm sorry... Zhang Ziyi, Shiri Appleby?And of course... JERICHO ROSALES?!!? Di ba sabi nila yung mga magkahawig ang nagkakatuluyan? Paano ba yan, girls? Sorry na lang kayo! wahahahaha!!!

25 Songs, 25 Questions

2006-07-26T22:03:00.000+08:00

Get your mp3 player & put it on shuffle mode. Press play & listen to the first 25 songs. Use a line from each song to answer the following questions. NO CHEATING – use song #1 to answer question #1, & so on. Try to keep the answers at least somewhat truthful.Ü

1. What is your life like right now?
“I’m so lost in my emotions.”
I Fall So Deep – Gary Barlow

2. What is your biggest fear?
“Sana’y pansinin ang tinig kong umaawit ng kundiman.”
Sabay sa Ihip ng Hangin – Hangad

3. What is one thing that would make you happy?
“That moment I knew, you were the one I could spend my life with.”
My Boo – Usher & Alicia Keys

4. What is your biggest secret?
“Long after the hillsides have crumbled away, there still My love will be.”
Love Untold – Hangad

5. Who are you in love with?
“It all comes down to faith, that’s the way I see it.”
God-Shaped Hole – Plumb

6. What will your future be like?
“I let it go.”
Kiss by Kiss – Emilia

7. What is your family like?
“’Pagkat ako ay para mong alipin.”
Nandito Ako – Lea Salonga

8. What is something that makes you feel sad?
“I love to see (her) him smile back at me, & I know (she) he is happy.”
All These Things – Stephen Speaks

9. What was your childhood like?
“Makapangyarihan ang pag-ibig na hawak mo sa ‘yong kamay. Ikaw ang (diyos) diyosa at (hari) reyna ng iyong mundo. Matakot sila sa ‘yo.”
Huwag Kang Matakot – Eraserheads (Orange & Lemons cover)

10. What is school like?
“Our days are full of passing faces, our hearts are bruised in many places, yet all shall be well.”
All Shall Be Well – Bukas-Palad

11. How is your love life?
“You’re switching sides like a Gemini.”
She Bangs – William Hung (Michael V. cover haha!)

12. What is something that excites you?
“Isipin mo na lang na may nagmamahal sa ‘yo.”
Hey, Jay – Eraserheads

13. What is something you love?
“Awiting malungkot, awiting masaya, dulot sa ati’y damdaming kakaiba.”
Hanggang sa Muli – The CompanY

14. What is something you hate?
“Does he like me like me, like I like him? Will we be friends or something more? I think he’s interested, but I’m not sure.”
Mix Tape – Kate Monster from Avenue Q, The Musical

15. What is something you find attractive in the opposite sex?
“I will not make the same mistakes.”
Because of You – Kelly Clarkson

16. What is your best memory?
“Be anyone you want to be, bring to life your fantasies.”
Burn – Tina Arena (Nina cover)

17. What is something that can make you laugh?
“I know you know what’s goin’ on.”
6th Day Medley – 6th Day

18. What is something you’re guilty of?
“Maybe I’m just a sentimental fool bringing back memories from a photograph of you.”
Photograph – Ariel Rivera

19. What’s the most fun you’ve ever had?
“I think I’ll follow the Voice that calls within, dance to the silent song It sings.”
Pilgrim’s Theme - Hangad

20. What’s something you want to do before you die?
“Just a little bit of happiness, it is all that I wish.”
Wishes – Nathan Morris

21. Something you want to say to your best friend:
“Wishin’ all of my daydreams come true, now baby what am I to do?”
Daydreamin’ – Tatiana Ali

22. Something you want to say to your (crush) love:
“Every prayer has been answered… I could not ask for more than the love you give me ‘cause it’s all I’ve waited for.” (the whole song, actually.. ¤sigh¤)
I Could Not Ask For More – Edwin McCain

23. Something you want to say to someone you hate:
“Makakaya ko ba kung tuluyang ika’y wala na at ‘di na makikita?” (rhetorical question haha evull!)
Wala Na Ba’ng Pag-ibig - Jaya

24. Something you want to say to someone you admire:
“Even the best fall down sometimes.”
Collide – Howie Day

25. Some last words you would like to give:
“I wonder if it’s worth [it – ] me holdin’ on.”
Half Crazy - Musiq

Credits to Cla Ü

That's All...

2006-07-15T12:59:00.000+08:00

Oo na, huli na ako sa balita. I just watched The Phantom of the Opera movie a couple of nights ago. I didn't watch it on Broadway when we were in New York, but after watching the movie, I could just imagine myself on the orchestra seat, tissue in hand, with tears flowing down my cheeks. The movie made me cry, particularly the famous romantic duet of Raoul & Christine, & being the sentimental geek that I am, I'm pretty sure that I would sob my way throughout the play had I gone & watched it.

Music speaks to my soul. Listening to music is such a spiritual experience for me. I am so moved that even in a live rock concert, you might catch me a bit teary eyed amidst a full auditorium dancing about. Raoul & Christine's duet is no exception. As of today, I've listened to the song for more than ten times already, and the intensity of the effect the song has on me just keeps on growing...

ALL I ASK OF YOU
The Phantom of the Opera OST
click to download

RAOUL
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you -
my words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry -your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you, now and always
promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe: No-one will find you
your fears are far behind you

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me
to hold me and to hide me

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you
anywhere you go, let me go too - Christine,
that's all I ask of you

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
say the word and I will follow you

BOTH
Share each day with me, each night, each morning

CHRISTINE
Say you love me

RAOUL
You know I do

BOTH
Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too

LOVE ME -

that's all I ask of You...

Fun with Puns!

2006-07-08T19:37:00.000+08:00

Stolen from Merrie hehehe

few... ---------- lo pascual

if... ---------- fagfatawad mo

missed her... ---------- dj can i make a request, pwede ba yung love song ko?

tuwing... ---------- kol tuwingkol litol star

joseph... ---------- fruit gum

jewel... ---------- turre

anchor... ---------- tis.. anchor-ny!

below... ---------- tin mo akow ng hiwaga ng iyong pagmamahal

gems... ---------- yap! james k n b? yap yap yap!

amanda... ---------- top of the world looking down on creation and the..

come back... ---------- tumibok ang puso wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito..

hey, busy?... ---------- D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

many... ---------- pacquiao, sosyal ka hah, slang slang ka pa..

some... ---------- milby, o bat biglang nawala slang mo?

when your dreams seem so far away..
when everything seems so distant..
just reach hard... ---------- gomez

eto lang ang masasabi ko sa mga jokes na ito..
super duper korny na... ---------- sanchez

nyork nyork nyork

What Now? Part 2

2006-06-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

I just read Bea's recent post about life after graduation. It got me thinking about my own situation again.

I received two e-mails from two different organizations hiring fresh graduates. Having been fortunate enough to come from a prestigious university, I just realized how lucky I am to be able to literally sit & wait for opportunities to come to my doorstep. There are a lot of people out there who NEED to get jobs for their families but couldn't because the good jobs are reserved for people like me. Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve all of this. I probably don't. But those people out there who've been looking for jobs since forever to provide for their families don't deserve that kind of hardship either. It's just not fair. It's not fair that I get several opportunities to pursue my crazy ideals while there are others who cannot even afford to HAVE ideals. That's not right at all.

One e-mail was from a Fortune 500 company. Well-established, pays well, great benefits. They're looking for someone to work at Human Resources -- something that I have a lot of experience with in my college organization. It's also a bonus that I took a Training course as my Psych elective in senior year. Although I have some aptitude for this type of work, I don't feel that it's a job that I'd love & would fight for.

The other one was from an NGO aimed at public education. Still young but pretty established, have no idea if they'll be paying. They're looking for a Communications Officer or something like that. I like people. I love being with people. I communicate well with all kinds of people. Plus their cause is something that I'm very passionate about. BUT they want a sample of a written work. Back in grade school, I was told that I wrote well, but definitely not the same case in recent years. Maybe I write good formal letters, which is something that I have quite an experience with, but other than that, I have nothing Palanca-Award worthy to submit. And I don't know how to make posters using Photoshop.

The question in one of my previous posts still stands: WHAT NOW?

I thought that things would be clearer to me once I've graduated. I've planned it all out before even graduating from grade school. Amazingly, everything went according to plan, right up to graduation day last March. Now that it's all finally over, I'm quite surprised at how clueless I really am to dealing with the world, the REAL world. I've always seen myself as sensible, responsible, adaptable, a girl with a good head on her shoulders. But during my four years in college, I've come to know about the scared little girl inside me, afraid of trying out & doing things on her own, afraid of being alone. I guess I've still got a lot more growing up to do.

Life is ALWAYS more complicated than we think. I'm just glad that we learn something new about it every now & then.

21 Names

2006-06-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

Nakaw again from Nanan (ito ang gawain ng mga unemployed haha!)

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Don't changethe names you've written once you start answering the questions. Ready, Start!

1. Nono 2. Nanan 3. Beatot 4. Michee 5. Bea s. 6. TJ 7. Kia 8. Lota 9. Francis 10. Benj 11. Bodi 12. Cheenee 13. Cla 14. Vianx 15. Ruthie 16. Nicolo 17. Matts 18. Rica 19. Koonce 20. Teehankee 21. Rai

THE QUESTIONS:
1. How did you meet 14? ACIL
2. What would you do if you never met 6? mabubuhay naman siguro ako.. probably one good friend less.. naks!
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? why not?! tapos kami naman ni Lota wahaha
4. Did you ever like 5? syempre, best friend ko yan eh. haha
5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple? ay. micheenee. hahaha!
6. Describe 8: loka-loka, jologs, marunong makinig, creative, intelligent, masipag
7. Do you think 13 is attractive? aba oo! lahat ng friends ko attractive! haha!
8. Tell me something about 17: masarap kasama sa tawanan -- kabag ang aabutin mo!
9. Do you know any of 4's family members? met her kuya once. *drool*
10. What's 21's favorite color? blue
11. What would you do if 18 just confessed s/he liked you? sabi ko nga ba bakla ka eh. haha!
12. what language does 20 speak? Tagalog. English.
13. Who is 9 going out with? 8. e mag-asawa na yan eh. haha!
14. What grade is 16 in? senior year college
15. When's the last time you talked to 13? wow. tagal na!
16. What is 2's favorite band? Eraserheads -- With A Smile! Doo-do-doo-doooo!!
17. Would you ever date 7? naka-ilang dates na kami nyan, even before Benj. haha!
18. Would you ever date 12? why not? MemRel rules!
19. Is 15 single? hmm. di ko alam. hehe
20. What is 19's last name? Santos
21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11? iba gusto nya eh. haha!
22. What school does 3 go to? e graduate na sya eh
23. Where does 15 live? bicol!
24. What's your favorite thing about 10? mahal nya si Kia! yikee!
25. Have you seen number 1 naked? ay. skandalo ito! wahahaha!!

Ateneo Cross-List

2006-06-01T17:24:00.000+08:00

Nakaw (na naman) kay Nanan at kay Lem:

(x) eat at Manang’s (liempo, donut, biko)
( ) learn the alma mater song (school spirit! wahaha!)
( ) get on the dean’s list (huhu)
( ) sleep on a bench
( ) be a TNT!
( ) jog around the campus in the evening
(x) visit the art gallery (once)
(x) know at least one xerox lady (ate alma, ate jenny, ate evelyn, ate imelda)
(x) get a Jesuit for a teacher (Dacanay forever!!!)
( ) itch from higad bites (i survived!)
(x) have gotten an F in something (curse you, Math 12!)
(x) have taken a crap in school
( ) watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game (sa TV ba counted? wahehehe)
(x) give a powerpoint presentation
(x) study in the caf (iba talaga pag cramming na)
(x) watch a T.A play (parang nakanood ako. di ko lang matandaan kung ano.)
( ) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars
(x) eat in Full House, Martha’s Kitchen, and Ken Afford (sara na yung full house and martha's nung 1st year kami)
(x) sleep in the lib (pag nagpapakanerd)
( ) visit Mr. San Andres
(x) go to the chapel
(x) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad (lalo na ngayon!)
( ) cut class with your block to watch a movie
(x) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant)(Dacanay rules!)
( ) go to CERSA night
(x) have tried siomai rice
( ) learn how to smoke
(x) fall in love (talaga lang ha? haha!)
( ) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
(x) play cards during your free time (sa ACIL ako natuto ng pusoy dos!)
(x) dress in business attire (wretched orals & defense)
(x) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight (mornangs galore!)
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC
( ) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes
(x) go to your immersion
(x) eat Food for Thought sandwiches (wheat bread, salami, lettuce, egg, tomato! Nanan's Special! haha!)
( ) get a boyfriend/girlfriend again (hmm. haha!)
(x) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors
( ) watch "Minsan Lang Sila Bata" and "Macho Dancer" for class (high school pa)
(x) do a last minute paper
(x) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures
(x) get exempted from final exams (History 166 under Dr. Totanes)
(x) attend a college mass
( ) promise to quit smoking
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest
(x) know where the best restrooms are on campus (well, renovated na ang mga banyo)
(x) join an org (go ACIL!)
(x) allow yourself to make mistakes
(x) take summer classes (make-up for my Math 12, practicum)
(x) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
( ) make a video for a project
( ) have a crush on a teacher
(x) attend a Jesuit retreat
( ) have gotten a parking ticket
(x) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes (esp freshman year)
(x) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
(x) participate in school activities
(x) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts (sa caf)
( ) date an Atenean
(x) ride a tricycle on campus
(x) find a tambayan painting room! (sa old ACIL Rm. sa now inexistent Colayco Hall)
(x) admire the marikina valley at night (from the LHS Titanic)
( ) go drinking along Katipunan
( ) learn how to beg for a higher grade
(x) use your cuts wisely (i barely cut class)
(x) volunteer to be class beadle (Theo 141 under Dr. Tejido)
(x) had the worst lottery schedule for reg
(x) admire the trees on campus
( ) have forgotten about your freecut and gone to that class
(x) eat in the ISO canteen
(x) be active in your org (iisa na nga lang eh, tatamarin pa ako. haha)
( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it (once lang nag ACP)
( ) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair (di ko pinuntahan!)
(x) learn how to cram
( ) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
( ) save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes
(x) have accidentally seen a make-out session (di pa nga by accident yun eh haha)
(x) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge
( ) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa
( ) learn how to work with groupmates from hell
( ) perfect the art of parking on campus
( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
(x) develop a love for sisig
( ) learn how to pronounce "AEGIS" properly
( ) have used typing rooms at the library
(x) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function
( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries
( ) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella.
(x) have used consultation hours properly
(x) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didn’t break any equipment
(x) visit the Guidance Office and Infirmary

What Now?

2006-06-01T16:29:00.000+08:00

What have I been up to these past few weeks since I got back from the US?

1. gave out my pasalubong
2. helped around in the family business
3. watched a few DVDs (e.g. Constantine, The Virgin Suicides)
4. met up with friends
5. weekends with the family
6. bummed around the house
7. currently reading 'Wicked' by Gregory Maguire (which inspired the hit Broadway musical that I never got to watch)
8. ignored several job opportunities

Yes, I am guiltily avoiding getting a job. Guilty, because I haven't gotten around to being the responsible daughter that I am. Guilty, because I can actually afford to take a break while most people, some of them my friends, have been busting their butts at work a few weeks right after graduation.

No, I do not plan on being like this (a bum) all my life. I just feel that I'm in a point where I'm not sure which step to take next. Do I compromise my dreams & settle for an available job that I can easily do & would no doubt please my family? I'm just afraid that if I get into something so far from what I really want, I might not be able to get out anymore. So what's keeping me from pursuing my dream? The timing, fear of disapproval. Those kind of things.

Let's say the timing isn't right. What am I to do NOW? I guess that's what's really bugging me right now. No, I'm not bored with the stress-free conditions that I have set myself up with. I guess after all the things I have done to enjoy myself, the hype's settling down & I'm starting to hear Reality's faint knocking on my door to actual adulthood.

I'll probably answer it when I hear the doorbell. Until then, I'm just going to sit back, iPod on ears, & 'Wicked' in hand.

Something's Fishy...

2006-05-29T21:29:00.001+08:00

Ang kabaliwan ng mga ACILista habang naghihintay tumila ang ulan sa Something Fishy sa Eastwood

Nakaw kay Nanan

2006-05-23T16:18:00.000+08:00

i miss you, ACIL peeps!

huhuhu

Biyaheng Hangad 2006 Pictures

2006-05-20T12:17:00.000+08:00

Sobrang dami pa ng mga pictures namin actually. Marami kaming may dala ng camera. I'll upload more pix as soon as I get a hold of my copy of the compiled pictures.

Chicago
Orlando
New York
Los Angeles

Miss ko na kayo, Hangad!

New Jersey, New York, Los Angeles

2006-05-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

New Jersey/New York:
1. commuted from La Guardia Airport in New York to Jersey City via rented van & subway while lugging our bags (there were 16 of us, so we were quite a sight to look at)
2. saw Ground Zero (World Trade Center)
3. slept in a convent (trial ba ito for my future? why nat?!)
4. met the other wonderful Hangad members who are now based in the US
5. learned how to commute from Jersey City to New York City (take Bus 51!)
6. commuted from 14th St. in New York City to Jersey City via subway & bus... BY MYSELF! Ü
7. ate New York street food!
8. ate lunch at Central Park & lounged at Sheep Meadow (while sighting some hot bods haha!)
9. BROADWAY!!! (Mamma Mia!, Avenue Q, & Sweeney Todd)

Los Angeles/Torrance:
1. went to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills (kaso puro designer shops pala ron. my gad!)
2. went to Hollywood
3. shopped at a bargain CD store (WINNER!!!)
4. finally got to buy myself some clothes from a bargain store
5. Bath & Body Works shopping spree! (Thank you, Mother's Day Weekend Sales! haha!)
6. finally got to eat a corn dog
7. tasted a lime lemonade (talap!)
8. watched MI:3 in Westside Mall
9. eaten Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (ang natatanging pinunta ko sa States!)

Favorite Hangad Highlights:
1. expanded my vocabulary (e.g. BORKY means 'scary' *don't ask me why*)
2. noticed that the sound technicians I worked with during the concerts had common names (e.g. John, Bob, Tim, Neil)
3. got to be 'backstage' & 'behind the scenes' with great performers! (ala 'Almost Famous' effect)
4. spent a marvelous 4 weeks with some of God's most precious messengers of love & grace

Deux, Clare, Meechee, Mariel, Teen, Rose, Elaine, JC, Louis, Migs, Prime, Ron, Toby, & of course Mother Domi, Ernest, TJ, & Bea: Thanks for being so accomodating, warm, & patient with me. The memories you have shared with me will always be remembered & cherished. Congratulations to all of you, for your past, present, & future achievements. Kita-kita na lang sa mata!

*pix to follow (ang dami kasi!)*

Orlando, Florida

2006-05-06T06:07:00.000+08:00

As usual, ililista ko muna yung mga highlights ng trip:

1. Disneyworld!!!
2. Shopping at Waterford
3. Shopping at Premium Outlets
4. Cleo the golden retriever
5. Dudoy the little boy!
6. Yo momma jokes with Christian
7. The best sound system we've had for the tour!
8. The heat in Orlando!

Tito George, if you're reading this, pasensya na at ito lang ang nasulat ko. Ngayon lang kasi ako nakapag-update ng blog. Medyo lumipad na ang mga memories ko about our trip there. Ang hindi ko talaga makalimutan ay yung INIT! Para palang Pilipinas ang weather doon. Oo, lumalamig sa gabi, pero grabe ang heat! Now I know bakit Miami Heat ang pangalan ng team.

Tita Ching, Tito Amador, Jamie, Tita Tess, Tito Dante, Tito George, Tita Lea, Tita Mina: THANK YOU! Grabe, kahit inaapi nyo ang pagsho-shopping ko, ok lang. I really enjoyed your company, pati na ang yummy food, syempre.

We're now in New Jersey, pero most of our gimiks are to New York City. Teaser about what I've been doing so far: BROADWAY! Matts, lagi kitang naaalala pag nanonood ako! Sobrang ma-e-enjoy mo talaga ang mga napanood ko! Kwento & pix soon! Hirap kasi mag-upload. Maraming gustong mag-internet. hehehe

Chicago, Illinois

2006-04-26T01:42:00.000+08:00

I'm actually not in Chicago right now. I'm in Schaumburg, which is mostly a suburban area. But we did go to Chicago to do some sight-seeing. Before I start getting into detail, I'll enumerate the highlights of this part of the tour:

1. Had me & my stuff go through a SPECIAL inspection at the airport in Minnesota
2. Went out for a long walk with 34 degrees Farenheit (about 3-4 degrees Celsius)
3. Bought DVDs from Virgin Records (Now & Then; The Virgin Suicides)
4. Walked down along Michigan Avenue
5. Went to the Water Tower
6. Went to Millennium Park
7. Went to the Art Institute of Chicago
8. Went to the Shedd Aquarium
9. Ate lunch at Quizno's Sub
10. Tulips EVERYWHERE! As in equivalent sya ng santan sa Pilipinas!
11. Ate Chicago-style pizza
12. Kumanta sa Magic Sing ng Breakout by Swing Out Sister, as a submission to the drunken whims of the Hangad members

Ibang-iba ang Filipino community dito sa Illinois. Sobrang close at parang mga bagets pa na tipong mahilig mag-inuman at mag night out. Ang kukulit pa, especially Tita Raquel! Sana mas matagal pa kami dito sa Illinois. Bitin. Salamat talaga kina Tita Aleli & Tita Elisa sa lahat ng tulong at tsismis, kay Tita Nida sa pagsundo at paghatid sa airport, kay Tito Boy at Tito Ben sa kakulitan din, at kay Tito Jess sa phone card, lotion, at fabulous picutures. Madami pa silang dapat kong pasalamatan, kaso bangag na ako at pinipilit ko na lang itong tapusin. Maaga na naman ang flight to Orlando in a few hours.

Roomies ko pala sina Bea (yehey!) & Clare. Back in Minnesota, I was in the same house as JC, TJ, & Deux.

Nabigyan pala ako ng $50 from Ernest & Trin (of Hangad) as part of my share of the pocket money they gave us. So, I have already spent a total of $102.84 so far on this US trip.

Pictures to follow.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

2006-04-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hi friends!

Grabe na ito! Imagine, 32 hours ang travel from Manila to Minneapolis! Kangaragan! Manila - Guam - Hawaii - Los Angeles - Houston - Minneapolis. 5 planes. Goodness. At kailan ako nahilo? Before the plane landed in Minneapolis. Lakas ng turbulence (Fun with Puns: TURBELENCE? Yun ba yung sinasakyan pag may emergency?) probably because of the wind. Kalamigan dito! Walang binatbat ang Baguio!

Minnesota Highlights:
1. Fruits with cottage cheese (Lota, specialty ng Minnesota ang cheese. Heaven ito for you!)
2. Went to Como Park (saw polar bears doing backstrokes on the pool, lions doing a quickie [NO JOKE])
3. Went to the Cathedral
4. Went to the Capitol
5. Went to the Mall of America (rode a ferris wheel for the first time, bought souvenirs)
6. Touched hale (I have a picture to prove it! Will show you soon!)
7. See my breath coming out of my mouth because of the cold weather
8. Heard a tornado warning (loud siren), but with no one seeming to be bothered by it
9. Saw a White Castle branch! Harold & Kumar! wahaha!(I think we might eat there tomorrow!)

Our hosts are so hospitable! Thank you very much to the Hiess Family! I'm still not over the book Tita Judith bought for me at Barnes & Knoble without my even asking. Oh, & the Godiva chocolate bar. *drool* But I'm saving it for my mom. She loves that chocolate.

And for myself, I bought a pink Minnesota shirt & a Minnesota star keychain (apparently Minnesota is the North Star state) Apart from that, it's also the state with 10,000 lakes. No joke. As in may lakes everywhere, kahit sa tabi ng highway. Parang malalaking puddles na kalat-kalat.

Sige, past midnight na rito. I need to rest na kasi concert na bukas sa Basilica. My gad, ang laki ng simbahan. No room for error! The pressure!

Nagastos ko pa lang so far sa aking US trip ay $30.86. Basta sa L.A. & New York na lang ako mag-splurge para malapit na kami umuwi nun. hehehe

Pictures!!!Ü

The Easter Journey: Biyaheng Hangad 2006

2006-04-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

Apr 21, 2006, Friday, 8:00PM

Basilica of Saint Mary
Hennepin Avenue & 16th Street, Downtown Minneapolis
MN Minneapolis, Minnesota
Call (612) 317-3507

Apr 22, 2006, Saturday, 7:30PM

St. Hubert Church
729 Grand Canyon St.
Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Contact HangadChicago@yahoo.com or (847) 287-5291

Apr 28, 2006, Friday, 7:30PM

St. Joseph Catholic Church
1501 N Alafaya Trail
Orlando, FL 32828
Call Tess Gabriel at (407) 275-6461; Mina Bailey at (321) 946-1495; George Tunaya at (407) 382-1471; or Father Rex at (407) 929- 0577

May 6, 2006, Saturday, 3:00PM

St. Anne’s Church
3545 Kennedy Blvd.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Call Rick Rivera at (201) 779-9114

May 7, 2006, Sunday, 5:00PM

Chapel of San Lorenzo Ruiz
378 Broome St.
New York, New York 10013
(Mass and mini-concert)

May 13, 2006, Saturday, 2:00PM

First United Methodist Church of Torrance
1551 El Prado St.
Torrance, California
Call Rose Domingo (310) 880-3610 or Josie Bada (310) 962-3929

You asked for it, you got it!

2006-04-10T21:34:00.000+08:00

Dahil natamaan ako sa comment ni Cheenee about not updating my blog, eto na. hehe

Obvious naman siguro sa previous post ko na napakaganda ng experience ko sa 8-Day Ignatian Retreat ko sa Baguio. Kakaibang experience sya, friends.

Oo nga pala, I graduated last March 25. Pero backtrack lang muna sa Baccalaureate Mass nung March 24. Astig, si Fr. Dacanay ang homilist. At ang choir, da bomb! (Syempre mga friendships ko nandun haha! Heller Nanan, Eds, TJ!) Pero syempre astig yung kumanta ng Responsorial Psalm, si TJ. I felt so proud, kahit na halos murahin nya ako after the Mass kasi nakita pala nya akong humahagikhik habang kumakanta sya. haha! But the most memorable thing about that day was Fr. Dan speaking in Tagalog in front of everyone after the Mass to announce some things about the graduation practice that afternoon. Winner!

After the Mass, Beatot, Sherwin, Hazel, Arjay, Eds, Nanan, & I went to Eastwood to grab some grub before our scheduled graduation practice. We ended up eating at Serye. Yummy! I was able to ride in two of Sherwin's Benz's, one 2-door, & one SLK. Deym! Funny thing though, we arrived late for the practice because Arjay's car got a flat & Sherwin had to help fix it. Funniest part was when we were hurrying to go back to school, Sherwin realized that he didn't have his mobile phone with him. We tried calling it & could hear it ringing faintly but we just couldn't seem to find where it is. It turned out that I was sitting on it because Sherwin had left it on the passenger's seat in front & my blind eyes didn't notice it when I moved in front. Kakaiba ang utot ko, MUSICAL! haha! Upon reaching the exit of the parking lot, Sherwin frantically searched for the parking stub, which also ended up on my seat again. Nanan didn't stop himself from saying that cash might suddenly come out from my butt. haha!

Ironically, rushing to the practice was a bit useless because the organizers were already hungry for lunch & were already speeding things up to end it. So, we got to spend around 30mins or so for the practice. After which, I contacted Tin because we agreed to go see a movie after my grad practice, plus it was also her last day of exams. We ended up watching V for Vendetta at Eastwood (yes, there again) with Bobby, her blockmate.

Grad day. Blooper of bloopers, I had left the cord that we were supposed to wear during graduation at home. Good thing my family & I arrived 2 hours early & my dad (God bless him) went back home to get it for me. (Note that we live 40mins away from Ateneo.) Lucky me, Ate Julie (from OSA) was one of the usherettes & promised that she would hand me the cord in my seat when my dad arrives. So she did! With the help of Ate Susan (from the Psych Dept). Several speeches were given, of course the loudest applause went to Boyet, our valedictorian (though he did get a bashing from a parent in the Inquirer, poor boy).

I forgot to mention that the graduation was held in the high school covered court, which was rectangular & vertical in orientation, which meant that guests seated in the back would be watching ant-like students on a toga marching up the stage, if not for the amazing projection screen up front. My mom said after the graduation that I was 'telegenic'. Why not?!

Oh, our graduation was webcast LIVE. Amazing.

After the ceremonies, TJ told me to wait for him because he was going to give me something. Something = a dozen red roses. Of course, considering that I do not have a lovelife & getting those flowers caused a stir with my parents. They immediately asked me if he was courting me. Right. In what parallel universe will that happen? haha!

So, what have I been doing after graduation?

1. helping out in the family business
2. watching DVDs
3. reading the books I've bought long ago but never got the chance to read them
4. enjoyed days not having to worry about responsibilities like school work (sorry undergrad friends... bayaan nyo, makakarating rin kayo rito. kaya n'yo yan!)
5. catching up with old friends over food
6. preparing for my trip to the US

Yep, you read that right. But before I get to that, I would just like to announce that my family & I are going to Baguio on Holy Thursday till Black Saturday.

And on Easter Sunday, I'll be attending the send-off concert of Hangad. Send-off where? To their US Tour, which is where I'll be going as well.

We're leaving on April 18 & be back on May 15. We'll be going to Minneapolis, Chicago, Orlando, New York, New Jersey, & Los Angeles (in that order).

No, I'm not a member of Hangad. It just so happened that my mom was pressuring me to go to the States since I haven't used my Visa yet, & Hangad needed the extra hand for their production stuff. There. It's a plus that I'll be with TJ & Bea. Whoopee!

I'm so excited!!! Aaaahhh!!!

High on the Lord

2006-03-20T11:20:00.000+08:00

Do you know what it's like

To sit in the middle of a garden
and be embraced by a cloud?

To open your bedroom window
and smell the mist coming into the room?

To be wrapped in a fog
and see everything as if in a dream?

To witness the dawning of a new day
and see both the sun and the moon in the same sky?

To watch the sun rise and set
amidst whipped-cream and cotton-candy clouds?

To bathe in the warmth of the sun
and dance at the glow of the moon?

To stand on a mountaintop
and touch the sky on tiptoe?

To stare at the night sky
and convince yourself you're in outer space?

To delight at the sight of the morning dew
kissing the soft petals of a newly-bloomed flower?

Or to walk into a labyrinth
but never lose your way
because you hear God's Voice calling out to you?

Or to understand and feel the graces of True Love
in the peaceful silence?

If you do know, I'm sure you'll be keeping all these things in your heart.

A tribute to the 8-Day Retreatants Batch 2006

What a way to end the year. ¤sigh¤

2006-03-06T17:05:00.000+08:00

Lintik benta! hahaha!

On to other news...

As of March 3, 2006, Friday, 5:45PM, my academic life finally ended. Well, technically, it's not yet over since I have yet to complete my clearance. But yes, no more exams, no more orals, no more papers.

On a sad note, I did crappy in all of my final exams. What a way to end my academic life. Goodbye 3.08 QPI. Back to C+ land for me.

On a lighter note, we won Best Thesis Poster Presentation! Thanks to Mr. Ego Faylona for his creativity & generosity to see our vision through. In terms of tangible academic recognition, this is the only thing I've ever received throughout my four years in college, so pardon me if I gloat a little. hehehe

Moving on to a much depressing note, I wasn't able to attend the ACIL Senior's Night last March 4 due to obligations & duty. Honestly, I don't regret having stayed throughout the whole SOA Elections/Delibs. I stayed because it was for ACIL, primarily for SOA, but essentially for ACIL because it's part of SOA. Pero oo, sobra akong nalulungkot hanggang ngayon at hindi ko nakasama ang mga minamahal kong ACILista sa huling activity for the year, to think na especially for the seniors pa yung activity. Alam ng mga kasama ko sa elections kung gaano ako nag-struggle sa pag-stay ko doon instead of going to the party. Napuri pa ako nina Makaw (Speed) at Reg (ACMG) when they said, "Grabe talaga ang dedication mo [for staying here instead of going to the party]! Kakaiba!" Hay. Humagulgol ako pag-uwi ko sa bahay kasi na-guilty ako for choosing to do my job over going to the party. I feared that my friends got mad at me for not showing up & seeing everything they had prepared especially for me. Buti na lang nag-text back si Rica kahit na 1:30AM na nun. Kung hindi, baka hindi ako nakatulog talaga. Thanks Rica, for your reassurance. Ay lab yu!

Pinakamasaklap pa sa lahat, hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa mga kids ko sa area. Ano ba yan, ang ACIL na pinakamamahal ko, hindi ako nakapagpaalam. Naiinis ako, nagagalit, nalulungkot.

Hay.

Still have to finish ACIL documents for submission. Plus clearance. Plus pack my bag for my retreat in Baguio.

Till next post.

Johari Yllana

2006-02-17T06:47:00.000+08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Chinky+Ü

The Guru

2006-02-15T09:30:00.000+08:00

"How do I find true love? By doing it, as 1st Reading from James: what is faith without work. If you say you love another person, but you do not show it, it is useless. If you say you care about workers and their plight, but do not concretely act on it, you are then a liar. Love is about doing and expressing it in action. St. Ignatius said that love ought to find expression more in deeds than in words. It means that love should be spent to save it." ~ Fr. Jboy Gonzales, SJ

Oo na, adik na 'ko!

2006-02-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting you way!

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is medium.
In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."
You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.
But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Usapang Pag-ibig

2006-02-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Tulog na, Mahal ko...

2006-02-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

I am a dreamer.

2006-02-10T21:10:00.000+08:00

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Bulaga!

2006-02-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

I am not scary.

2006-02-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

How reassuring. hahahaha lintik benta!

I Believe!

2006-02-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.
Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..
Your convictions are strong and unwavering.
You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Affection is Air

2006-02-07T06:14:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: February 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense.
You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends.
Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone.
Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive.

Your strength: Your universal compassion

Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings

Your power color: Mauve

Your power symbol: Butterfly

Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Flashback

2006-01-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

An excerpt from my entry posted last September 4, 2005:

"It's been a long time since I felt peace within me. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt peace within me. There's always something to worry about, something to be angry about, something to be sad about. Maybe it's impossible for a person to find absolute peace within himself until he actually dies. (Don't worry, I won't kill myself over this. hahaha) I think the closest any person would ever get to inner peace is the feeling of relief, which is sadly, fleeting. Still, I am thankful for the fleeting feeling of relief, because its absence teaches me how to hope."

I can't believe I'm quoting myself. VANITY!

Eunuch Ako?!? faints

2006-01-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Para Kay Bodi

2006-01-20T10:11:00.000+08:00

Sa palagay ko, kaya tayo naguguluhan sa mga tanong na ganyan (i.e. figuring out women/men) dahil may inaasahan tayo mula sa kanila (expectations, ba?). You like someone, and you cannot help but picutre an ideal situation for the two of you. That's probably why we get disappointed or confused when they 'act weird' because of these hopes and fantasies we create in our minds.

To put it in an objective point of view, take a look at our friends of the opposite sex. Do you find yourself asking those questions whenever you are with your girl-friends? Hindi, 'di ba? That's because you don't expect or hope for anything more than that genuine friendship that you have.

I guess that is the beauty of falling in love with your best friend, because you don't really have to go through the guessing game. You already know what makes her laugh, what makes her cry, and how she wants to be loved.

Am I making sense to you? I hope I am. hehe But don't think that what you're doing is wrong, or perverted or whatever. Normal lang 'yan. It's a phase that we all go through. :)

Trial Tests Before My Actual Tests

2006-01-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Are Karamel Sutra

Plain on the outside, but once someone gets in, they're stuck

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 66% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing

Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Career Option Revision?

2006-01-13T13:38:00.000+08:00

You scored as Theater. You should be a Theater major! Like a bohemian actress, you are seasoned and confident and not afraid to express yourself!

Linguistics

100%

Theater

100%

Anthropology

100%

Sociology

100%

Philosophy

92%

Psychology

83%

Dance

75%

Journalism

75%

English

67%

Engineering

58%

Art

50%

Mathematics

50%

Biology

50%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

Did I?

2006-01-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

"But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on"

In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Pit Stop

2005-12-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

Hindi ako nakapag-comment sa year in review ko. Hindi ko muna maatupag yung reflection ko on my immersion kasi medyo sabaw ang utak ko dahil sa sipon (yak!).

Napansin ko lang na puro mga summaries lang ang pinopost ko rito sa blog ko over the past year. Kung hindi naman yon, puro naman ang-tagal-ko-nang-hindi-nagsusulat-ng-matino-dito posts. Or puro pictures naman. Hay. Ewan ko. Walang panahon. Laging may ginagawa o kailangang alalahanin.

Naiinis pa rin ako hanggang ngayon, kasi gusto kong manahimik at maglaan ng panahon para pag-isipan ang mga dapat kong pag-isipan ngayong malapit na akong magtapos sa pag-aaral. Ano ba talaga ang gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko? Magtuturo ba talaga ako? Mag-co-corporate ba ako (Please, Lord, huwag.)? Sasali ba ako sa JVP? Kukuha na ba ako ng M.A.? Magbabakasyon ba muna ako? Tutulong ba ako sa family business? Magmamadre ba ako? (Yes, napag-iisipan ko rin 'yan.)

Syempre hindi lang yan kinabukasan ko ang pinag-iisipan ko. Pati yung mga magulang ko na unti-unti nang tinatamaan ng mga sakit. Ano na ang mangyayari pag biglang may mawala sa kanila? Paano kaming magkakapatid? Paano ang negosyo? Si kuya, wala pa ring trabaho. Anong mangyayari sa kanya? Ang nakababata kong kapatid, na madalas pasaway at gastador, anong mangyayari sa kinabukasan nya?

At si Mahal. Ano'ng mangyayari 'pag balik n'ya? (Hanggang d'yan na lang muna ang tanong tungkol sa kanya.)

At ang pinakaimportante pero laging naisasantabi: si Lord. Kailan kaya ako makakabalik sa Kanya? Kailan ko tatanggalin ang poot at katigasan ng ulo ko para matanggap ko Siyang muli sa buhay ko? Handa ba akong tanggapin Siya ngayong Kapaskuhan?

Ang bilis-bilis ng mga pangyayari. Sana makapagnilay-nilay ako nang kaunti ngayong bakasyon.

Pero bago ang lahat, party muna! Woohoo!!! Sana dumating na ang mga tao! hehe!Ü

A Short Word From Our Sponsors

2005-12-19T09:52:00.000+08:00

I know, I know, sabi ko sa last entry ko I'll be posting my 'reflections' on my Immersion. I still need more quiet time to finish it kaya I'm postponing it until after classes are done. (Our last day is on Wednesday pa. Arrgh.)

For now, ito na muna. Natuwa kasi ako sa idea na 'to. Got it from Bits's blog:

Take the first sentence (or two) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.Ü

Jan: THE DISTANCE
Feb: Birth Data for Denise:
Mar: BaliKatTanDate: 28 January 2005; Model: Kat; Venue: ACIL Room
*no entries for April*
May: Bantay
June: Schedule for this coming semester:
July: It's been a loooong while since I poured in my thoughts here.
Aug: This was my Friendster Horoscope from July 30:
Sept: First time ko'ng mag-overnight sa bahay ng kaibigan last Friday night.
Oct: I am a mere spectator
Nov: What I've accomplished so far since October 14 (last day of exams), in no particular order:
Dec: Halos isang buwan din akong hindi nagsulat dito.

Updates

2005-12-05T11:17:00.000+08:00

Halos isang buwan din akong hindi nagsulat dito. Bakit? Nakita n'yo naman ang schedule ko di ba? Pero kahit na mahahaba ang breaks ko, nakakain din dahil sa dami ng ginagawa: field work for thesis, ACIL Caroling practices, at ACIL Week activities. Siguro mabuting ilista ko na lang muna kung anu-ano ang mga nagawa ko over the past weeks. Sa tingin ko may mga nakalimutan na ako, pero susubukan kong tandaan.

1. Nanood ng 'Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire' at 'Prime' with my family
2. Nakapagpasa ng papel para sa Theology
3. Naging 'alipin' ng klase (class beadle) sa Theology
4. Tumugtog ng bamboo instruments sa Philippine Music class (e.g. tongatong, bungkaka, pateteg, kubing, saggeypo)
5. Nag-commute papuntang Batasan para sa thesis (dalawang beses na)
6. Nag-attend (at sana patuloy pa) sa caroling practices (na dating hindi ko magawa)
7. Kumanta sa harapan ng ACIL alumni sa College Chapel (dalawang beses)
8. Nag-IC kay Ma'am Rina ng CMO nang dalawang oras
9. Sumali sa 8-Day Retreat for Seniors na gaganapin sa Marso (pero hindi pa ako pinapayagan)
10. Pumunta ng Marikina kasama si TJ at napadpad ng Blue Wave Marikina para kumain ng pananghalian at mag-Starbucks (sa uulitin!Ü)
11. Nag-make-up class ng Sabado ng umaga (Pol Sci)
12. Nag-breakdown pagkatapos pa lang ng dalawang linggo sa eskwelahan
13. Nagpa-photocopy kay Ate Alma ng wroth P1,392.00 (!) para sa thesis
14. Nag-immersion sa Pangarap Foundation (Pasay-Taft) nitong nakaraang weekend

Kwento tungkol sa immersion sa susunod na entry. Abangan.

576: Lintik na numero ka.

2005-11-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

Monday
830-930AM Politics & Governance
330-430PM A Theology of the Catholic Social Vision
430-730PM Training Administration Design

Tuesday & Thursday
12-130PM Research in Psychology II
430-6PM Philosophy of Religion
6-730PM Philippine Music & Culture

Wednesday & Friday
830-930AM Politics & Governance
330-430PM A Theology of the Catholic Social Vision

There's something wrong with this schedule.

Can you enumerate ALL of them?

Pampered

2005-11-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

What I've accomplished so far since October 14 (last day of exams), in no particular order:
1. read Harry Potter 6
2. read Series of Unfortunate Events Book 4 (will finish Book 5 by this evening)
3. watched Carnivale Seasons 1 & 2
4. my last ACIL Form Sem (huhuhu)
5. started Christmas shopping
6. done thesis work
7. gone to see my grandma & my other cousins after a LONG time
8. gone out during weekends with my family
9. helped out in the family business
10. bought me 2 CDs: Alicia Keys Unplugged & Orange and Lemons!
11. got me a new 'do (finally!)
12. got me 4 new shirts from Bench (yes, Bench na naman haha!)
13. watched other DVDs (forgot the title of the movies)
14. got good grades from last semester! (sacrifice does pay off!)
15. got me a pair of closed shoes from Rockport (it was on sale! one thou bucks off! unbelievable!)
16. starting to learn how to use Photoshop
17. got my mom out of the hospital (whee!!)

Pending:
1. article for Ite
2. registration on Thursday
3. CLEAN MY ROOM (hahaha!)

Language[s] of a Lost Love

2005-10-29T01:27:00.000+08:00

Awit ng Pag-ibig XX
Salin ni Virgilio S. Almario

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.

Maisusulat ko, halimbawa: "Mabituin ang gabi
at nanginginig, bughaw ang mga tala sa malayo."

Lumiligid sa langit ang simoy-gabi at umaawit.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Minahal ko siya, at minahal din niya ako paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga gabing ganito, ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig.
Ulit-ulit ko siyang hinagkan sa lilim ng walang-hanggang langit.

Minahal niya ako, paminsan-minsan ko rin siyang minahal.
Sino ang hindi iibig sa kaniyang malalaki't mga matang tahimik.

Maisusulat ko ang pinakamalungkot na berso ngayong gabi.
Maiisip kasing hindi na siya akin. Madaramang wala na siya sa akin.

Maririnig ang gabing malawak, at mas lumalawak kung wala siya.
At pumapatak sa kaluluwa ang bersong tila hamog sa pastulan.

Maano kung hindi siya mabantayan ng aking pag-ibig.
Mabituin ang gabi at hindi siya kapiling.

Ito na ang lahat. May umaawit sa malayo. Sa malayo.
Hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Upang waring ilapit siya, hinahanap siya ng aking mata.
Hinahanap siya ng aking puso, at hindi siya kapiling.

Ganito rin ang gabing nagpapusyaw sa ganito ring mga punongkahoy.
Kami, sa tagpong iyon, ang nagbago.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit minahal ko siya nang todo.
Hinahanap ng tinig ko ang simoy upang hipuin ang kaniyang pandinig.

Nasa iba. Siya'y nasa iba. Tulad noong katalik siya ng aking mga halik.
Ang kaniyang tinig, malinaw na katawan. Ang kaniyang matang walang-hanggan.

Hindi ko na siya mahal, natitiyak ko, ngunit baka mahal ko siya.
Napakaikli ng pag-ibig, napakahaba ng paglimot.

Dahil sa mga gabing ganito na ibinilanggo ko siya sa aking mga bisig
hindi mapanatag ang kaluluwa ko sa pagkawala niya.

Kahit ito na ang huling pighating ipapataw niya sa akin,
at ito ang huling mga bersong isusulat ko para sa kaniya.

¤---------------------------------------------------------------¤

XX Tonight I Can Write...
Translated by W.S. Merwin

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Translations of Pablo Neruda's 'XX Puedo Escribir Los Versos...'

¤SiGh¤

2005-10-26T00:13:00.000+08:00

Pic taken by me at Picnic Groove, Tagaytay

21 October 2005, Friday

Happy 4th Anniversary of Love

Hazel & Francis

Idol ko talaga kayo.

¤SiGh¤

Don't Ask Why

2005-10-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

List of my feelings at this very moment (in no particular order):

jealous

angry

bitter

envious

self-pity

disappointed

betrayed

restless

depressed

slightly hopeless

frustrated

Lord, kaunting tulong naman, please.

2005-10-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Lazarus

2005-10-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

I MISSED YOU LUKE!!!Ü

Evolution

2005-10-09T13:08:00.000+08:00

2nd Year, 2nd Sem

3rd Year, 2nd Sem

4th Year, 1st Sem

Hangad ko'y Patawanin Ka

2005-10-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Happy 22nd Birthday
Tristan Joel T. San Jose

Nagawan na kita ng testimonial sa Friendster kanina pero tinamaan ako ng Senior's Syndrome at nagkaroon ako ng short trip down memory lane. Natandaan ko na partners pala tayo sa Ballroom Dancing nung 2nd Sem during our freshman year. Tapos itong picture na ito, remember this? Social Psych class with Ma'am Bo Peep. Nagpupumilit magmukhang serious, hindi naman maitago ang kapilyuhan. hahaha! Cheers to you TJ!Ü

To-Die List

2005-10-04T23:43:00.000+08:00

¤ Thesis Proposal Defense (tomorrow!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Case Study (Thursday!)

¤ History Bonus Project (Friday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Reflection Paper (overdue!)

¤ Theology 151 Final Oral Exam (next Monday!)

¤ Educational Psychology Final Exam (next Wednesday!)

¤ Thesis Final Proposal (next Friday!)

¤ Abnormal Psychology Final Exam (next Friday also!)

¤ Philosophy 104 Final Oral Exam (next Friday pa rin! last exam!)

¤ ACIL Evaluation Seminar & Formation Seminar Preparations (super overdue! waaahh!!!)

At wala akong sem break dahil sa thesis work. Shet.

2003 Ü

2005-10-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

Bago pa man tayo nag-ibigan, nagmahalan muna tayo bilang magkaibigan.

Oo, minahal muna kita bago kita inibig.

Ang Minsan ay Magpakailanman

2005-10-02T14:59:00.000+08:00

Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan
by Basil Valdez

Gaano kadalas ang minsan lang ka mahagkan,
Sindalas na rin ng dami ng bituin waring walang hanggan.
Dahil sa labi ko'y laging mararamdaman,
Kahit sandali halik mo'y dumampi minsan.

Gaano kadalas ang makapiling kang minsan,
Sa kin sindalas ng walang wakas, saglit mang magpisan.
Dahil sa ganoong paraan lang mag-iisa,
Kung magsasanib ang dalawang dibdib di ba.

Ngunit(dahil)kung pag-ibig ay hindi rin lang wagas
Mabuti pa, mabuti nga, mabuti ang hanggang maaga'y magwakas
Pagkukunwari'y itago man ay lalabas
At minsan kang matuklasan hapdi'y walang kasing dalas.

Gaano kadalas ang minsan mo akong saktan,
Kahit minsan lang sa 'kin para bang walang katapusan.
Gaano kadalas ba ang puso'y namamatay,
Gaano kadalas, gaano kadalas ang minsan?

¤---------------------------------------------------¤

Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin
by Ariel Rivera

Mahal pangako sa iyo hindi magbabago
Ikaw lang ang iibigin ko
Kahit ikaw ay lumayo at masaktan ako
Asahan na 'di maglalaho

Ang pag-ibig ko'y alay sa 'yo lamang
Kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman

Minsan lang kitang iibigin
Minsan lang kitang mamahalin
Ang pagmamahal sa 'yo'y walang hangganan
Dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman

Minsan lamang sa buhay ko ang 'sang katulad mo
Ako rin ba'y iniibig mo
Tupdin, puso'y sumasamo sumusumpa sa 'yo
Ikaw ang tanging dalangin ko

Voyeur

2005-10-02T14:45:00.000+08:00

I am a mere spectator
To the beauty you are growing into.
All I can do is sit on my chair
As I watch you sing your melody.
I am moved by your song --
Its words, its hymn, its everything.
I watch you as you let the music escape from your lips
And reach into my soul
Like you have a thousand times before.

I am a mere spectator
To the minstrel you are becoming.
All I can do is applaud with the others
As I sit on my chair,
Silently wishing we can sing a duet.

Inspired by last night's Café Loyola & Norah Jones's "Those Sweet Words."

Before the night is done, I just have to hear those sweet words spoken like a melody.

Ode to my Non-existent Philo Paper

2005-09-25T20:25:00.000+08:00

Pilit kong pinipiga ang aking utak
Upang mailabas ang mga salita
Na s'yang pupukaw sa iyong damdamin.
Maghapong lumipas na hindi na maibabalik pa
ang nagbabanta sa bawat hakbang ng oras --
Papalapit nang papalapit
Ngunit tila lumalayo nang lumalayo.
Lumilipad, tumatalon, umiikot, nawawala, bumabalik
"Heto na naman," ika nga ni Gary V.

Pagbigay Pugay

2005-09-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

I would like to express my gratitude to those who helped me 'Vicky-Belo' this blog:

1. Bro. Ryan Echevarria, SJ: Dahil nakita ko sa blog mo na may links ka, nagtaka ako bakit 'yung akin wala. Tapos tiningnan ko 'yung template ng blog ko (kahit na wala ako'ng alam sa mga html chuva) at hinanap kung saan pwede maglagay ng links. At nakita ko rin sa pinakadulo ng blog mo na nilagyan mo ng quote, sabi ko, gusto ko rin, kaya hinanap ko rin kung saan 'yun. And voila! Meron na! Whee!!!

2. Nicolo Ludovice: Dahil nakita ko sa blog n'ya na iba 'yung nakalagay sa 'comments' part ng entries n'ya, tinanong ko s'ya paano ko mababago 'yung akin. S'ya rin ang nakaisip ng ipapalit ko'ng pangalan doon! Whee!!!

3. Hazel Nakpil-Castillo: Dahil nakita ko na may sitemeter ka (at si Bro Ryan) at tagboard, nainggit ako at tinanong ko kung paano maglagay ng mga ganoon sa blog ko. Faster than a speeding bullet ka'ng nag-e-mail ng instructions at sinabihan mo pa akong SMART to figure it out.Ü Yessss!!! hahaha

4. Matthew Dy: Dahil sa pag-recommend mo ng tagboard site, napadali ang paglagay ko nito sa aking bloggie. Tama ka nga, super one-two-three magic lang s'ya gawin! Bibidibobidiboo!

5. Jong Figueroa: Dahil nakita ko sa Friendster account mo 'yung John Legend video, pinuntahan ko kaagad 'yung site at kinopya ko rito at pati sa Friendster account ko. I had to adjust the video player size though kasi masyadong malapad 'yung original size ng video player para sa sidebar ko rito sa blog. Buti na lang din at madaling sundin ang instructions sa pag-resize kundi sabog na ang itsura ng blog ko. hehehe

Oo na. Gaya-gaya na ako. Hahaha!

I was born to love deeply.Ü

2005-09-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

My Friendster Horoscope:

The Bottom Line
Get ready -- those flirt-filled conversations will finally add up to something real.

In Detail
Are you postponing taking that next big love step because you're afraid? And are you afraid because everything's not 'perfect'? The stars tell you to snap out of it and stop asking yourself, 'What if?' or you could talk yourself out of a situation that may not be 'perfect,' but is actually perfect for you. You were born to love deeply, so embrace an adventure that has the potential to change your life for the better.

Napangiti ako ro'n, ah.Ü

Just wish it would happen sooner.

One of the Boys

2005-09-22T21:07:00.000+08:00

I realized last night as I recalled all the significant 'men' that have come into my life was that a great majority of them are or were seminarians. Yes, religious, aspiring-to-be-priests folk. I would like to blame ACIL for this. Then again, I have always been one of the boys, even considering the fact that I graduated from an exclusive Catholic Chinese school for girls. Maybe it's because there are 3 guys in my family & that I have many guy cousins. Maybe it's also because I came from a co-ed school before transferring to the exclusive school. Maybe. Maybe.

One of the first people I became close to in college was my male blockmate, Ryan. Though we don't talk to or see each other as much, we still have that great brother-and-sister banter we got so used to having.

There's also TJ. We don't have the same relationship as I have with Ryan but I can say that we're pretty good friends. He's more of a PG-13 as opposed to Ryan who is a definite R-18. hahaha

My ACIL male friends are a combination of TJs & Ryans, which is a good mix, & is probably one of the reasons why I have good relationships with them.

Then there were the seminarians. First wave: San Jose Seminary boys. Had crushes on some of them, I admit. (Sa kaunti ba naman nila, I'm sure you can guess who they are. haha) I still recall the late nights I would spend with them, either going out for a movie, or eating & sight-seeing at Riverbanks, or simply talking the hours away while lounging on their 'Smoker's Pocket Garden' overlooking the Marikina Valley. Those were the times... Just for the record, I don't go there anymore, save for that one time last month when we reviewed for our Philo exam.

Second wave: Jesuit Scholastics. There was Nono, the two Ryans (Kalbo & Rai), & Bro Art. For some weird & inexplicable reason, I have an ease in sharing my heart & soul to these guys. Not just that, I feel comfortable with them to the point that I barely see their 'religious' side. This still puzzles me up to now.

The constant presence of the seminarians in my life suddenly made me think that maybe they're the reason why I still do not have a boyfriend. Yes, a far-fetched hypothesis. (Guys, don't kill me for this. hehehe) Nevertheless, I'm quite blessed to have those seminarians as my friends. Like I told one of my ACIL friends, I would want to have my first drinking session with my Jesuit friends, since I have no idea of how I am when I'm drunk, at least I know that I'll be safe with them. Right guys?Ü

Anthem

2005-09-21T10:32:00.000+08:00

Kwarto
by: Sugarfree
¤ Thanks, Rai!Ü ¤

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan

Alaala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto

¤ Wish ko lang. ¤

Deadline

2005-09-21T09:49:00.000+08:00

Tumatakbo
By: MOJOFLY

Laging bigo laging sawi sa pag-ibig
Minamalas o kay sakit
May balat nga ba ako sa pwet
Mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto
Nakakainggit TL ang sweet nila ng
Kanyang nobyo
Gusto ko lang maranasang umibig
Tamaan ng kupido
Gusto ko lang maranasan ang langit
Tumibok muli ang puso ko

Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako
Ng panahon
Di na nagbago bawat araw pare-pareho
Parang kahapon

May birthday cake ka nga
Ngunit wala naman kandila
May Christmas tree na malupit
Wala naman dekorasyong pansabit
Sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay
Walang kasing tamlay
Ayoko sanang tumandang nag-iisa

Tatanggapin na lang ba ang malupit
Na tadhana o kaya'y
Tatanggapin na lang ba na ako'y
Sadyang hindi pinagpala?
Tigilan na ang drama
Punasan na ang luha

Senior's Stress

2005-09-18T16:41:00.000+08:00

Overview of my schedule for the following weeks:

Mon, Sept 19: Revised thesis proposal

Tue, Sept 20: Abnormal Psy quiz; History graded recitation & quiz; Call UPIS to confirm participation in pilot

Thurs, Sept 22: Educ Psy Reflection Paper; History bonus paper

Fri, Sept 23: ACIL Liquidation Report to OSA; go to Roque's house for Theo project

Sat-Sun, Sept 24-25: Finalization of Thesis Proposal

Mon, Sept 26: Philosophy paper (yuck); Theo project; ACIL Statement of Receipts & Expenses to COA

Tue, Sept 27: Abnormal Psy Case Study; Final Thesis Proposal

Thurs, Sept 29: Abnormal Psy Exam; Educ Psy Refelction Paper; History Exam; History Final Project Proposal

Fri-Sun, Sept 30-Oct 2: Preparation for Thesis Proposal Defense

Mon, Oct 3: Thesis Proposal Defense

Hibernate

2005-09-15T10:31:00.000+08:00

Napakagaling ko talaga. Umuwi ako ng mga 4:00PM kahapon. Sumabay ako kay Jaya. Nakarating ako sa bahay ng mga 5:15PM. Kumain ng merienda. Sumakit ang ulo kaya natulog ng mga 5:45PM. Refused to get up from bed for dinner. Didn't get up until 5:53AM. Mahusay, Chinky.

Ilang beses akong tinanong kagabi kung maghahapunan ako. 'Di ako sumagot. Ayaw na ayaw ko kasing napuputol ang tulog ko. Kapag nangyayari ito, lalo kong gustong pahabain ang tulog ko. Kung tuluy-tuloy ang tulog ko, mas sisipagin akong bumangon. May mga dapat pa naman akong ginawa kagabi. Tulad nga ng sabi ko sa previous entry ko, dapat gagawa ako ng mga papers. Oh well.

Rationalization ko lang 'ata ito. Medyo tinamaan kasi ako ng loneliness kahapon. Defense mechanism ko marahil ang pagtulog ko para hindi ko maramdaman yung lungkot. Hay.

Nasa RSF ako ngayon. Aatupagin ko 'yung isang survey na gagamitin namin para sa thesis. Free cut yung Educ Psy class ko ng 9:00AM. Thesis consultation mamayang 12noon. Muntik ko na namang hindi i-schedule ang lunch sa araw ko. Hay. Dadalhan ako nila 3cia & Hazel ng lunch from Jollibee. Pumunta sila sa UPIS para tanungin yung principal kung pwede kaming mag-pilot ng surveys doon. Sana pumayag. Kailangan na kasi kaming mag-pilot ng isang measure namin before our defense on the 1st week of October. Stress.

Sige na nga. Trabaho na.

Beep-Beep ang Sabi ng Jeep

2005-09-14T11:20:00.000+08:00

Attended the noise barrage yesterday along Katipunan Avenue. As evidenced by my previous entry, I didn't have enough sleep (in fact, I was running on only 2 hours of sleep). After my History class at around 4:20PM, I was supposed to go to the library (AGAIN) to study & to take a nap. It was supposed to be a compromise since I wanted to attend the 6:00PM Mass at the Gesu. Anyway, I gave in (so did Hazel -- we slept at around the same time) to Sherwin's peer pressure to join the noise barrage. So there we were, under the seemingly endless light drizzle of the afternoon, shouting our lungs out amidst the cling-clanging of metal cans & beeping cars, encouraging the other motorists to honk their car horns to show support to our cause.

At one point during the noise barrage, I'm not sure if it was because I was just drained, but I fell silent. (Yes, I was silent in a noise barrage.) I got teary-eyed. (Iyakin talaga ang lola n'yo.) Why did my eyes water? Maybe I was just so overwhelmed with the whole scenario I just described above. In all honesty though, I didn't have a really intense emotion at that moment as compared to the other times I've been overwhelmed. Then one car passed by & inside there was a little girl with a puzzled look on her face. I wondered. What could she have thought about what we were doing? In a decade or so, would she understand why we were out there in the streets? Again, I went back to ask myself of what I can do for my country in educating the youth, if ever I do pursue a teaching career. Questions, questions.

At the Mass, bigshots came (e.g. THE Cory Aquino, Dudut Jaworski, Gilbert Remulla, president of DLSU). Heard 3 speeches within the Mass: Fr. Danny's, Fr. Ben's, & Tita Cory's. The general theme was about upholding the truth, virtues, & morals. I particularly liked what Fr. Ben said about not just having accountability to the truth, but also having accountability to the poor. It's sad to accept that no matter what happens to the country, they are always at the losing end. I am now reminded of the notion that education is the great equalizer. I personally would like to believe that this is so, but even when education is supposed to be standard & unbiased, it isn't so. Again, WHAT CAN I DO?

*nostalgia: off. back to present.*

I'm planning on leaving school early today, as opposed to my usual 9:00PM departure on Wednesday evenings since the rest of the week is pretty light for me. I just hope I don't slack off again in dong my papers.

On a lighter note, it's Cha's 22nd birthday!!!Ü (Sorry girl, I don't have an embarrassing picture of you good enough to put here in my blog. hahaha)

Walk-Out

2005-09-13T02:35:00.000+08:00

Nag-"walk-out" ako sa YM (No, hindi sa Congress. haha) nung Sunday ng gabi dahil nainis ako sa isa ko'ng kaibigan. Nothing serious naman. Kung tutuusin, ang dami na naming "fights" na tulad no'n. Sabi n'ya naiintindihan n'ya ako, pero alam ko'ng hindi. Pero in all fairness to him, naiintindihan ko rin kung bakit 'di n'ya ako maintindihan. Naintindihan n'yo ba? hahaha

Hindi ko alam kung naiintindihan n'ya na kakaunti lamang ang mga talagang nakakausap ko sa tunay na nararamdaman ko, lalo na ngayon. Marahil naririndi na s'ya sa akin. 'Di ko naman s'ya masisisi. Para mailabas ko lahat, kailangang ma-verbalize ko ang mga saloobin ko. May pakiramdam na unti-unting nawawala 'yung sakit at hirap kapag nasasabi ko s'ya out loud. Minsan nga kapag hindi ko nasasabi 'yung nararamdaman ko, literal na sumasakit ang dibdib ko. Weird noh? And since kakaunti lang ang nakakausap ko tungkol sa mga drama ko sa buhay, the same people have to put up with me. Yes, you may not believe it, but I'm too much to handle.

Anyway, I think ok na kami nung friend ko. It was a momentary thing lang naman. Pero dahil doon, siguro hindi na muna ako masyado magbabahagi ng saloobin ko sa kanya. Bahala na.

It's 2:30AM. I have to be out of the house before 6:30AM. Still waiting for Hazel to finish editing the thesis proposal. Sigurado before 3:00AM I'll be in bed na. I think. I hope. Good luck na lang sa aking bangag commute to school sa umaga.

Virgo Two

2005-09-12T09:49:00.000+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday

Maria Beatriz S. Siojo

Remember this pic? Mr. Quickie, Galleria, with Kat.Ü hahaha I don't think I got to tell you how much it meant to me when we went to UP to watch Anak Dalita together. I really missed your company. Hay. Senti. Oh, and when you caught me at the chapel that particular Friday... I was really glad you were there. Thanks, friend. You've always made me proud to know you.Ü

Virgo One

2005-09-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

7 September 2005

Happy 21st Birthday!

Maria Katherine Louise M. Aristorenas

No, no, I didn't forget her birthday. It's just that she doesn't know I have a blog & that the chances of her going online are very rare. I was looking through my picture folder & found this pic of her. This was the first time I ate Ice Monster. hahaha Bad influence ka, Kat! Addict na ako! hahaha I miss you, girl! Sana when Bea & I graduate, makalabas na tayo ulit. Baka may boyfriend ka na, hindi ka nagsasabi! hahaha Sana rin pala I can get to watch you sing. Sawa na ako kay Bea. hahaha I hope you're doing fine!

Happy Birthday Mama Mary!

2005-09-08T18:35:00.000+08:00

Ayaw Ko'ng Magsalita Nang Tapos

2005-09-07T16:03:00.000+08:00

The Last Time
by Eric Benet

The first time I fell in love was long ago.
I didn't know how to give my love at all.
The next time I settled for what felt so close,
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.

After everything I've learned, now it's finally my turn.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

The first time we walked under that starry sky,
There was a moment when everything was clear.
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why,
Because each question is answered when you're near.

And I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds,
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

Now don't hold back, just let me know.
Could I be moving much too fast or way too slow?
'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day.
To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same.

You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words.
And now that I've said them, they could never be enough.

As far as I can see, there's only you and only me.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

Emotions Taking Me Over

2005-09-06T19:18:00.000+08:00

May naganap na mobilization kaninang 10:30AM na nagsimula sa may Bellarmine Hall. Nanggaling ako sa 3rd floor nung mga oras na ‘yun dahil galing ako sa klase. Nakita ko ang ilang mga kaibigan ko na nakapulong sa may daanan ng sasakyan. Seryoso ang mga mukha nila at taimtim na nakikinig sa mga habilin ni Bro Rai. Inggit ang una ko’ng naramdaman nang makita ko sila. Inggit dahil gusto kong sumama. Gusto kong sumama kahit na alam ko na hindi pa ako nakapagdedesisyon ukol sa kung ano ba ang opinyon ko sa kahihinatnan ni GMA. Gusto ko’ng malaman ang katotohanan. Pero dahil may klase ako ng alas-dose, napagpasyahan ko na hindi sumama.

Dumeretso ako sa Mateo Ricci at ilang minuto lamang ay narinig ko na ang mga sigaw ng mga nagdedemonstrasyon. Iniikot pala nila ang buong campus. Nakakatawa pa na lumabas ako ng gusali, hindi dahil sasama ako sa kanila, kundi dahil pinulot ko ang nahulog kong ruler nung papasok ako ng gusali. May hiya akong naramdaman sa pagkakataong ‘yon. Nahiya ako dahil heto’t halos pinuntahan na ako ng grupong gusto ko’ng samahan pero literal ko silang tinalikuran noong pabalik ako ng gusali pagkapulot ng plastik na ruler.

Pagkapasok ko sa loob ng gusali, dalian ko’ng niligpit ang gamit ko. Mukhang desidido akong sasama sa kanila. May halos sampung tao ‘ata ‘yung kasama ko sa mesa. Walang may gustong sumama sa akin. Tinamaan na naman ako ng hiya. Nagtaka ako kung saan ito nanggaling. Umupo na lamang ako at nanahimik sandali.

Binalikan ko ang survey na pinasasagutan ng Puno ng Kamalayang Panlipunan ukol sa impeachment issue. Napilitan akong mamili sa mga limitadong solusyon sa isyu. Inisa-isa ko sila. Wala akong naramdaman kundi duda sa mga posibleng epekto ng mga “solusyong” ito. Napilitan akong mamili hindi dahil kailangan ko’ng pumili, kundi dahil sa kawalan ko ng alternatibong solusyon.

Binigyan ko pa ang sarili ko ng ilang minuto para pag-isipang mabuti ang bawat posibilidad na inihain sa akin. Bigla kong naalala ang sabi ng guro ko sa Teolohiya, na kahit limitado ang mga solusyon, kailangan pa ring mamili, at sa pagpili, tingnan kung alin sa mga pagpipilian ang para sa akin ang higit na may pag-asa. Binalikan kong muli ang papel, at sa wakas, nagkaroon na rin ako ng personal kong paninindigan ukol sa isyung ito.

Nagtaka naman ako kung bakit umabot pa ng ganito katagal ang pagdedesisyon ko, kung kailan natalo na ang pinanigan ko. Maaaring dahil sa survey ay napilitan akong umupo at pag-isipan talaga ito. Maaaring kinailangan ko muna’ng malaman na makatutulong sa pagdesisyon ko ang paghahanap ng pag-asa.

Bumalik ako sa naging pagdududa ko sa mga posibleng magiging epekto ng mga solusyong naimungkahi. Sa sobrang pagdududa ko, hindi ako nakakita ng alternatibong solusyon. Ngunit may kukurampot akong pag-asa na magiging maayos ang lahat. ‘Yun nga lang, hindi ko alam kung saan manggagaling ‘yung pag-asang tinutukoy ko.

Ayaw kong maniwala na wala nang pag-asa ang Pilipinas. Ika nga nila, habang may buhay, may pag-asa. Hindi pa huli ang lahat. Mawawalan ng katuturan ang lahat ng bagay kung mawawalan tayo ng pag-asa. Kahit na anong mangyari, may pag-asa pa rin.

*serious mode off*

Mga 9:40PM na ako nakauwi kagabi at pagkahapuna’y umupo na sa harapan ng computer. Halos 2:00AM na ako tumayo mula sa computer kaninang madaling araw sa pakikinig sa mga rambulan sa kongreso via DZBB online. Hindi ko inasahan na pagkapasok ko sa aking kwarto’y may naghihintay pala sa aking sorpresa.

To make the long story short, 3:15AM na ako nakatulog sa kaiiyak at nagdesisyong hindi na pumasok sa 7:30AM class ko.

You WERE the only person who knew how to surprise me.

You WERE always the best part of my day.

Manny has Many Money

2005-09-06T01:33:00.000+08:00

I attended a presentation yesterday afternoon about the new student leadership center that will be constructed in campus. Majority of the students who attended, including myself, were amazed about the plans of how the building will look like & what will be put inside. Apart from the new building, there were several other developments in the coming months like the construction of a BIG swimming pool behind the College Covered Courts & the creation of the School of Medicine & Public Health. Several oohs & ahhs were let out all over the lecture hall.

After the presentation, I realized that not once was the ongoing political crisis mentioned. I thought, our school is spending so much money on the construction of this building for student leaders, but what kind of leaders, let alone what kind of students, is our school forming?

There will be another mobilization to Congress later at 10:30AM. Again, I don’t think I’d be able to go because of our thesis consultation at noon. Great. Apart from this, I got scared about what would happen over at Sandiganbayan, what with Cory Aquino & Susan Roces joining forces to go there. I'm a chicken sh*t.

I’m still awake listening to the goings-on in Congress. I can’t believe they’re still at it. If they spent this much time ACTUALLY doing something good for the country, maybe we won't be in such a mess.

On a lighter note, I'd like to quote a friend from a YM conversation we just had a while ago:

"Ayoko maging congressman, [lalo na kung laging puyatan at maraming kailangang i-deliberate]. Presidente na lang, para ikaw [ang] laging pinag-uusapan."

Good point.Ü

I think I need to sleep now. Zzz.

Dahil Wala Akong Makausap At Sinisipag Akong Mag-blog

2005-09-04T10:28:00.000+08:00

First time ko'ng mag-overnight sa bahay ng kaibigan last Friday night. Pero sana talaga hindi trabaho 'yung ginawa namin sa first overnight ko. Hay.

Halos wala kaming tulog sa paggawa ng chapter 1 & 2 ng thesis proposal namin. Deadline was yesterday at noon. Kumaripas kami from Corinthian Gardens dahil 11:30AM na namin natapos 'yung paper. May mali pa nga sa printing pero we didn't realize it until we were already in White Plains. Kebs.

Buti na lang din Cha was able to help us with some of the questions we had about our thesis. She was our adviser-on-call, although when we tried calling her at around 6AM she was obviously fast asleep from watching An Affair to Remember for 4 straight times. (Malala ka na, bakla! hahaha)

We were running on chips, gum, chocolates, and Coke. I think the Coke worked on Hazel because she was the one up all night until she decided to sleep at 6-8AM. As for me & 3cia, we had several power naps throughout the evening. I still can't believe I fell asleep on the computer chair. It was pretty comfortable, I must say. hahaha

When we got to Ateneo, we went straight to CORD, where our thesis adviser's office was. When we got there, we were told that our teacher left for the Psy Dept that morning & had a messenger deliver all the submitted thesis proposals there just a few seconds before we got there. Yes, we saw the messenger outside the CORD building when we got off the car. hahaha

Since 3cia & I had a lot of bags with us from the overnight, Hazel rushed to the department & submitted the paper. 3cia & I slumped ourselves on a bench in the SS Foyer & waited for Cha's reply if she wanted to have lunch with us, since she said she wanted some company that day, plus we owed her for all the help she's given us. We decided to order pizzas & had it delivered to the Foyer. We were just too darn tired to move. I was feeling lightheaded & had a heavy feeling on my chest, probably caused by my lack of sleep.

When the pizza came, Cha was already there with us, plus Jose who was with her. We talked, shared some laughs, & got really full. 3cia & I finished our share of the pizza while Cha didn't want to eat her last piece. Good thing Doc T came by & we just gave him the last piece.

We saw Bea & Yanna coming from the Psy Dept at around past 12:30PM, I think, obviously having just passed their proposal. Bea decided to hang out with us while Yanna went on. Bea asked me if I wanted to watch "Anak Dalita" over at UP for our History bonus paper. We were both tired from doing our papers & we also had a lot of bags from our respective overnights. We decided to take a cab going to UP. We made a detour to My Place first because Bea had to drop off her contact prints. Bea told me that she was going to be fetched at UP after the movie & that I could be dropped off in Ateneo.

We got to UP on time. The movie was supposed to start at 2PM, but didn't until around 2:40PM. We spent the whole time before the movie just chit-chatting, which is something I really missed doing with her. When the film started, I was already afraid that I would doze off because of my lack of sleep, & true enough, I did fall asleep several times. I think that was the first time I slept on a movie in a movie house. Anyway, I think I was awake during the more important parts of the movie so I'm sure I could still write something about it in my paper.

Bea's mom fetched us at past 4PM & went back to Ateneo. It was raining pretty hard when we got there. Good thing I was able to ask Tin if I could hitch a ride with her going home. I got home at around 540PM, fixed my things, took a cold shower, & slept at around 6:20PM. I don't recall having been called to dinner that evening but I didnt' wake up until 1:20AM. I felt pretty much rested but I decided to stay in bed & didn't get up until 8AM.

Yes, I could've done something productive at 1:20AM like finish reading Utilitarianism for Philo, or the Personality Disorders chapter for Abnormal Psy, or I could've gone online to write this blog entry, or written at least one of the 4 papers I'm supposed to submit within the month, or do some long overdue org work. I could've done all that but didn't. Why? I don't want to say I was just lazy (which is probably the best answer) or tired (I just had a good night's sleep). I think I just didn't like the loneliness of the evening.

Anyway, the funny & frustrating part about Friday night was that some friends of ours had a sleepover, got themselves drunk & just had fun while we were slaving over our paper. Yes, nainggit ako. And I don't think I've really had any fun in a long time. Sure, I get to have my dose of laughter every now & then from being with friends, but actual fun is something almost alien to me now.

It's been a long time since I felt peace within me. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever felt peace within me. There's always something to worry about, something to be angry about, something to be sad about. Maybe it's impossible for a person to find absolute peace within himself until he actually dies. (Don't worry, I won't kill myself over this. hahaha) I think the closest any person would ever get to inner peace is the feeling of relief, which is sadly, fleeting. Still, I am thankful for the fleeting feeling of relief, because its absence teaches me how to hope.

Parang ayaw ko nang mag-type. I think I'm going to go back upstairs & watch a movie with my brother. To hell with the things I have to do. Mamaya na.

Zombie Days Are Here To Stay

2005-08-30T18:58:00.000+08:00

I just want to rant about my schedule for the next few days:

Tomorrow:
PSY 112 (Thesis) Exam - Coverage: 9 chapters, the APA Manual, & the thesis guidelines.

Thursday:
PSY 113 (Abnormal Psy) Exam - Coverage: 3 chapters -- around 40-50 pages each.
HI 166 (Philippine History) Graded Recitation & Quiz - Coverage: 2 chapters.

Saturday:
PSY 112 (Thesis) Submission - Chapter 1 (revised) & Chapter 2 of thesis proposal.

Wait till I tell you what will happen in the weeks that will follow. Yes.

Oh, I'm at the library right now burning my brain cells. My eyes are strained. I just hope I finish studying. I don't know how I'm going to be able to deal with our thesis work with all these other requirements floating above our heads. Planning to drown myself in coffee tonight. I just hope I can stay up.

I have around 30 minutes left to study here in the lib till Vicente & Jaya end their classes. Back to work.

Lord, help us all.

Gastric Disturbance

2005-08-29T19:19:00.000+08:00

50th birthday ng tatay ko ngayon. Dapat kakain kami ng hapunan sa labas pero inatake 'yung sikmura ko kaya hindi na kami tumuloy. Nakakahiya nga kasi alas-singko sumakit 'yung sikmura ko at walang naihandang ulam para dito sa bahay ngayong gabi. Bakit sumakit ang sikmura ko? STRESS.

Stress sa mga kailangang aralin at gawin para sa eskwelahan.

Stress sa masalimuot na sitwasyon ng ating lipunan -- sa gobyerno, sa mga nagpapahirap sa tao, at lalo na sa mga nahihirapan dahil sa kapabayaan ng iba.

Stress sa mga taong may magandang hangarin para sa kinabukasan ng bayan ngunit mali ang itinuturo at ipinapakita sa kabataan.

Stress sa mga taong hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganoon mag-isip at umasta pero kabalbalan lamang ang mga ginagawa at sinasabi.

Stress sa mga taong malabo ang paninindigan.

Stress sa mga taong walang paninindigan.

Stress sa "pagkawala" ng isang matalik na kaibigan.

Hindi pa tapos ang kalbaryo ko. Lintik.

Helplessness vs. Humility

2005-08-29T10:34:00.000+08:00

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

You can huff, and you can puff, and you can blow someone's house down, but it may not get you what you want in the end. In fact, the stars can definitely guarantee that it won't get you what you need, either. Rather than letting your emotions run away with you, acknowledge that you have some very strong feelings on the topic. Once you do that, you may just see what the real answer to this conundrum is.

Do you sometimes hate the feeling of not being in control? When you can't seem to get what you want & need?

Hay. I don't want to continue this entry anymore. Too many emotions.

Feeling Kawawa

2005-08-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

Narinig ko sa radyo nung Friday na break-up season daw ngayon. Gusto kong maniwala na hindi, pero parang totoo. Paano ko nasabi? Maraming ebidensya. As in.

May nabasa akong blog entry ng isa kong kaibigan. May karanasan sya na matagal ko nang gustong maranasan. Ayaw kong ikwento kasi baka makasuhan pa ako ng copyright infringement hehe. Pero bottom line, naramdaman nya na sobra syang special. Ewan ko ba. Minsan iniisip ko na I'm so hard to please. Tipong high maintenance person pero not in material & superficial aspects but more of emotional support yung kailangan ko. Hay. Basta, nainggit ako sa kaibigan ko.

May nasabi sa akin si Bro Art nung nag-uusap kami after ng Waterhole FS nung Friday. Di ko na matandaan kung ano yung pinag-uusapan namin pero nasabi kong lagi na lang akong tagapag-alaga pero walang nag-aalaga sa akin. Sabi nya, "Hindi naman kasi kailangang hanapin sa ibang tao yun eh." Medyo paraphrased na yun, by the way. hehe

Tama si Bro Art. Hay. Ewan ko. Akala ko I have a strong sense of self. Hindi pala. I just come out strong to most people pero sa katotohanan, 'pag mag-isa na ako, sobra akong needy. Siguro dahil perception ng karamihan na strong ako, pati ako naniwala doon. Big mistake, Chinky.

Ang dami kong pinagdaanan this past week na malamang may carryover to this coming week. Kailangang magpakatatag. Pero for now, dadaanin ko muna sa iyak.

Feel Good Song of the Moment

2005-08-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

Let's Stay Together
by Al Green

I, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is all right with me
'Cause you make me feel so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

They say since, baby, since we've been together
Loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue

Let's, let's stay together
Lovin' you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why, why some people break up
Then turn around and make up
I just can't see
You'd never do that to me (would you, baby)
Staying around you is all I see
(Here's what I want us to do)

Let's, we oughta stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Veritas

2005-08-13T20:58:00.000+08:00

"What makes us unhappy are the things that we try to impose on ourselves - those that we hold true even if they are obviously false in its entirity."

- Bro. Art Tangara, SJ

Citrus Fresh

2005-08-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

HANGGANG KAILAN
by Orange & Lemons

Labis na naiinip
Nayayamot sa bawat saglit
Kapag naaalala ka
Wala naman akong magawa

Umuwi ka na baby
'Di na ako sanay nang wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi

'Di mapigilang mag-isip
Na baka sa tagal
Mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
Nakakabalisa
Knock on wood
H'wag naman sana

Umuwi ka na baby
'Di na ako sanay nang wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi

Umuwi ka na baby...

Stubborn Me

2005-08-10T06:34:00.000+08:00

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

You excel at solving puzzles on your own, but right now, holding your problems in won't make you stronger -- on the contrary, it might deprive you of the help that's well within your reach if you could only make the smallest gesture toward it. Remember that asking for aid doesn't make you weak -- it makes you smart. So if something's been on your mind, grab a friend and pour out your troubles to their sympathetic ears.

Yeah, yeah I know. Avoidance coping na ito. I think the reason behind this is that I've become more selfish & that I don't want to face that change in me. If you think this is a recent issue, no. Matagal-tagal na rin ito.

Overdue [Still Waiting]

2005-08-06T09:29:00.000+08:00

This was my Friendster Horoscope from July 30:

Today's Forecast
Right out of the blue, a romantic proposition will arrive -- an extremely attractive one. You'll be more than happy to accept the offer, and you'd be foolish not to. Be sure all parties concerned are honest.

The Bottom Line
There's a bunny rabbit who wants you to give them a bite of carrot. Be generous.

In Detail
Someone you've been amazingly fond of for some time will suddenly let you know that the feelings are extremely mutual. What should you do about it? Well, for starters, pick up your jaw and let yourself grin. Saying something appropriate wouldn't hurt, either -- something along the lines of 'me, too,' for example. You might also think of where to have dinner tonight. You'll need to keep up your strength if you're going to keep someone this startling entertained.

After almost a week later, nothing. Waiting waiting waiting.

Oh yeah, the new crush I was talking about in my last entry? Uulitin ko lang ang sinabi ko: I'm really attracted to men I can't have. hahaha Basta, yun na yun. Hindi s'ya elevated to stalkee status. hahaha

Yes, si stalkee. Ang kyut n'ya talaga. Sana magkaroon kami ng opportunity to know each other more. Hi at hello lang kami forever. Minsan hirit dito, hirit doon, pero wala. Ang babaw. Hay. Sadness. Sana talaga before I graduate maging friends kami at least.

Tama pala 'yung sinasabi sa psychology na teaching children to wait instills hope in them. May pagka-synonymous pala sila. Kapag sinabi sa 'yo ng isang tao na, "Don't wait for me," ang ibig n'yang sabihin, "H'wag ka nang umasa." Ang galing.

Masarap maghintay at umasa na matutupad ang gusto natin, pero nakakapagod.

Blag

2005-07-27T02:51:00.000+08:00

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

A loved one you've been thinking about fondly for some time has finally come around -- at least, it seems that way. There are several roadblocks in their way, however, many of which won't move aside easily. The hard part will be your urge to clear their way without enlisting any help at all from them. The harder part will be the absolute necessity of your letting go so that they can make this happen alone -- which is what will really count.

Surprisingly, I have a new crush. Yes, my stalkee finally has competition. Haha! Then again, my horoscope might be referring to my stalkee. Has he finally come around? (Rhett Miller's "Come Around" crooning in the background) Drama!

Just for the record: Hindi ko mahal si stalkee. Eye candy lamang s'ya. Nyahaha! Pero in fur-ness, I began to like him because he's really nice, has a sense of humor, very passionate, God-fearing... hay. Drool drool drool.

My new crush, on the other hand... well, let's just say I have a track record of being attracted to men I can't have. So let's just leave it at that. Sana hindi ma-develop at maging stalkee #2 ko s'ya or worse: mahalin ko s'ya. Deym.

Kakaiba. Sobrang conscious ang paghahanap ko ng boylet ngayon. Feeling ko seniors' syndrome na ito. Desperada ang lola n'yo. Shyet.

Hope hope hope... is the second name of my Educ Psy teacher. (Labo mode again.)

Letting go... yes. Heto na naman tayo. Ewan ko ba. Gusto ko nang umusad, pero ang higpit pa rin ng kapit ko sa 'yo. Pero ramdam ko na mas kaya ko na ngayon. Ewan. Baka ngayon lang 'to.

Hay leche. What an incoherent entry this is.

De-stress Call

2005-07-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

I've been called a toilet bowl by a friend because I seem to have this great capacity to take in all the sh*t in other people's lives & make them feel better after they have expelled their demons.

Never mind if I'm a mess myself. Most of the time, it's unnoticable anyway.

Even if there are a ton of things that are going through my mind, I can set them aside to accomodate another person's ramblings.

Endless rants, piercing pains, ecstatic joys, you name it, I can handle it. Never mind me. They seem to be more in need than me. Then, the inevitable happens.

Drowning in my own pool of tears, that's the end of my day.

Yes, I am a living irony. I know when somebody is in need but won't let others know that I need them.

Once again, I have fooled everyone. "Outstanding performance!" is what I say when I look in the mirror.

Underneath my smiles & laughter, a helpless little girl is curling up in a ball crying everyday.

My Friendster Horoscope for today:

The Bottom Line
You're so ahead of your time. Like a time traveler. Interesting, what you think of!

In Detail
If you're at all worried that you might say or do something to offend someone, especially if you're pretty darned sure about who it is and what the situation might be, take someone along for the ride who's equipped to mediate in situations such as this. You know who to ask -- because you've probably had to call on them in the past for just such a reason. Remember, too, that it's not you they'll be watching out for. It's anyone who gets in your way or challenges your opinions.

'Di ko alam kung anong mas masakit, kung hindi ka na kailangan ng mahal mo o kung hindi malaman ng mahal mo na kailangan mo s'ya.

Ewan. Basta masakit.

Got this from Av's blog:

How to show girls you love them...

1. Tell her she is beautiful, not hot.

2. Hold her hand at any moment even if it's just for a second.

3. Kiss her on the forehead.

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. Always tell her how beautiful she is, no matter what she's wearing.

6. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

7. Recognize the small things . . . THEY USUALLY MEAN THE MOST!

8. Call her baby.

9. Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

10. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

11. Write her notes, she loves them.

12. Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.

13. Play with her hair.

14. Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.

15. Sit in the park and just talk to her.

16. Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.

17. Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.

18. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

19. Carve your names into a tree.

20. If she's mad at you, apologize because SHE is always right.

21. CUDDLE.

22. Bring her flowers.

23. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.

24. Look her in the eyes and smile.

25. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

26. Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.

27. Kiss her in the rain.

28. If your in love with her . . . TELL HER.

December awaits me.

inkbl¤ts & candyc¤atedm¤¤ndr¤ps

Everything In Its Time: Songs & Stories of Hope from Hangad

bugita.sulit.com.ph

Which Heroes character are you?

'100' in Cinemas December 3, 2008!

Hangad: Noon at Ngayon

Inachus

Geek + Sensitive = ...

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?

Afternoon Girl

White Choco Chinky

*Blag*

Friendster Horoscope for July 26, 2007

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

The Bottom Line

In Detail

Walang Ibang Hangad

My Visual DNA

Broken Sonnet

Witnessing

Letting Go

Intensified!

Cuddly-doo!

I Am THE Star!

You are The Star

Labinlimang Hangad

WTF?!?

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Chinky Siy!

For Vanity's Sake

Sabi na artistahin talaga ako, eh!

25 Songs, 25 Questions

That's All...

Fun with Puns!

What Now? Part 2

21 Names

Ateneo Cross-List

What Now?

Something's Fishy...

Nakaw kay Nanan

Biyaheng Hangad 2006 Pictures

New Jersey, New York, Los Angeles

Orlando, Florida

Chicago, Illinois

Minneapolis, Minnesota

The Easter Journey: Biyaheng Hangad 2006

You asked for it, you got it!

High on the Lord

What a way to end the year. ¤sigh¤

Johari Yllana

The Guru

Oo na, adik na 'ko!

Usapang Pag-ibig

Tulog na, Mahal ko...

I am a dreamer.

Bulaga!

I am not scary.

I Believe!

Affection is Air

Flashback

Eunuch Ako?!? *faints*

Para Kay Bodi

Trial Tests Before My Actual Tests

Career Option Revision?

Did I?

Pit Stop

A Short Word From Our Sponsors

Updates

576: Lintik na numero ka.

Pampered

Language[s] of a Lost Love

¤SiGh¤

Don't Ask Why

Lord, kaunting tulong naman, please.

Lazarus

Evolution

Hangad ko'y Patawanin Ka

To-Die List

2003 Ü

Ang Minsan ay Magpakailanman

Voyeur

Blag

Eunuch Ako?!? faints